There are three categories of men when it comes to relationships I call them “bad men”, “weak men” and “the right men.” How do you tell them apart? Bad men hurt you on purpose, weak men hurt you not on purpose, and the right men don’t hurt you. There are a lot of different names and sub-classifications for these three broad categories. For example, “bad men” are also referred to as “toxic men”, “abusers”, “players”, “narcissists”, “sociopaths”, “wife-beaters”, “alcoholics”, “drug addicts”, “ego-maniacs”, “perverts”, “users”, “jerks”, “dicks”, “bullies” and “assholes”. They could be sexually, physically or emotionally abusive.

They could be financially, sexually, socially, or emotionally exploitative. The common denominator is they feel they are somehow above other people (or just women) and have no problem with causing you pain and suffering, taking advantage of you and manipulating you.

They make a conscious decision to try to weaken, confuse, shame, manipulate, intimidate, terrorize, devastate, devalue and cripple you, in whatever way is most convenient for them. It could be openly cheating on you, it could be through hot-and-cold games, it could be taking advantage of your kindness until you’re completely sucked dry and giving nothing back. They delight in causing pain and suffering because it makes them feel powerful and important.

Their distorted ego feeds on the pain of others and they have no conscience about what they do. Needless to say, nothing good ever comes from getting involved with a man in this category. “Weak men” on the other hand, don’t try to cause pain on purpose. But none the less, they cause just as much pain if not more than the “bad men” as their behavior is far more confusing and difficult to escape because we are forced to take part in our own torture. “Weak men” are identified by what they don’t do, which causes harm and suffering, as opposed to what they do on purpose. A lack of action, a lack of commitment, neglect, indifference, disappearing acts, broken promises or expectations, pretty words without action, a million and one excuses, general helplessness and your feelings of pity toward him, are the clear hallmarks of a “weak man”. Unlike a “bad man” who might insult you, cheat on you openly, hit you, rape you, or empty your bank account, and is clearly doing something “wrong”, a “weak man” “doesn’t mean to” hurt you, always has an excuse which involves their sorry life, and generally seems helpless, pathetic, and less “capable” then you.

Their problems are too many to mention, and it’s always someone else’s fault. They can’t handle criticism, expectations or boundaries. They collapse at the mere suggestion they do their job as a man, handle their own life and step up in courtship. They talk a good game, they may be very convincing, but at the end of the day they do nothing to improve their situation with you, or with their life. Straightforward, honest conversations about the relationship, boundaries or expectations will be avoided at all costs, and instead replaced with a steady stream of wishful thinking and bull$#!t about how great he thinks you are, how wonderful the future will be, that you’re so special, you’re so amazing, and all of that with absolutely no action on his part to claim you, keep you, put you first, or move the relationship forward. Frequently, he will slink off into the ether, leaving you walking on eggshells, scared to say anything at all that might cause him to disappear or scare him off again.

“Weak men” may be may be artists, inventors, failed businessmen or other “unappreciated talents” with a tragic past, awful ex, horrible childhood, physical, mental or emotional handicaps, victims of betrayal, victims of circumstance, victims of chance and all of these deficiencies are fully exploited as they do little or nothing in the relationship, while leaving the strong/capable/healthy woman to over-function and exhaust herself trying to make up for his inability to fulfill the masculine role. And while he’s causing serious harm to your well-being, self-esteem and sanity, you will be caught in the position of rationalizing, excusing, or enabling his behavior. You will feel sorry for him, and be trapped in a fantasy of a better future where he finally gets his $#!t together, and gives back to you all that you’ve given him. Sadly, that rarely ever happens and worse, women who get entangled with weak men often blame themselves, and are left in a chasm of doubt about “what if I did more” “what if I behaved differently” “what if I hung in there longer” or “what if I leave and then he finally gets his big break and does everything he said he would do?” Sooner or later you will feel used and confused you will wonder how he could say such amazing things about you and your future, and then be so hurtful with his actions. Does he really love me? Did he ever mean it?

Why would he say that if it isn’t true? Will become like a record playing in your mind, with no answer that drives you mad. How could he act like that? Hp-eva Keygen Mercedes here. He doesn’t seem bad he seems sincere he really does have a lot of problems he really is under terrible pressure unique circumstances you will tell yourself, getting caught up in his woe-is-me narrative. And that is what makes “weak men” so destructive. You feel guilty at the thought of leaving such a helpless person, and yet you suffer every day by staying and not having your needs met.

Many women end up having their lives wrecked by becoming a “caregiver” to a weak man instead of an equal partner. There is no fulfilling way to have a relationship with a “weak man” because at the end of the day you cannot respect, admire, or look up to him. He does not fulfill his role as a man to protect, provide, and please you. In contrast to “bad men” and “weak men”, the “right men” (aka healthy, masculine men) know their job in courtship, and are happy to accept it. They delight in the challenge of winning you over, they show up as a healthy, whole, capable human being, that doesn’t need you to over-function or help them run their life.

Where you'd like help for your work and business, you'll get my skills, ideas and assignments for everything from entrepreneurial systems and structures to internet technology, team building, program creation, client gathering, boss and employee relationships. Everything to get you unstuck and moving into a state of.

They have a healthy ego, and don’t need to be coddled. They are able to accept critical feedback and boundaries, they are capable of meeting your expectations and doing basic things like showing up on time and keeping their promises.

They don’t disappear. They aren’t helpless and they know exactly what they want. They don’t try to put you down or dim your light, they are proud of seeing you shine. Your power and strength turns them on. They want a partner on their level, not a nursemaid or a doormat.

They never do anything to hurt you on purpose, and if they hurt you unintentionally they are quick to make up for it with actions, not words. A Siren knows these categories by heart and can spot a “bad man” or a “weak man” from a mile away. She isn’t interested in wasting her time with either, because she puts herself first and knows that only a healthy, masculine man can give her the love and respect she deserves. Ask yourself, what category does the man you’re dealing with belong in? What about the men your friends are dating, or are in relationships with? Dear Sirens, I hope you are all having a lovely holiday season and are taking good care of yourselves in what is often a highly-emotional and stressful time of the year! Expectations run high, especially on ourselves as women, to be great hosts, gift-givers, partners, mothers, girlfriends, wives and cooks as old-fashioned notions of gender roles clash with our present-day reality, desires and empowered selves when we visit grandparents, in-laws, parents, churches and even holiday parties.

Many women find themselves working extra hard to make the “celebrating” happen for everyone else, and end up exhausted after the so-called “break from work” is over! Remember, it is not our job to serve anybody else, and giving, (whether at Christmas or in relationships!) should always be equal and reciprocal. It’s not your responsibility to fix anyone, heal anyone, or worry about anyone else’s problems and feelings.

Consider making a commitment in the New Year to put yourself first. To take care of yourself, shine your light, and bring the best version of who you are as a gift to the world. That will be more than enough. So please remember to honor yourself and practice self care and deep breathing in the midst of the travel, the shopping, the family visits and rushing around.

Savor the special moments, practice gratitude, and get plenty of rest for your well-being and immune system. To all of my readers, and Sirens-to-be, I wish you a Merry Christmas & a Happy New Year! Much love, ~Selina Posted in Tagged,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, . Women often think/say/act like “MEN have all the power” though in reality, they don’t. You are not some geo-political statistic when it comes to you and your life and your relationships, YOU have the power. No one can make you do anything you don’t want to do. No one can make you agree to something you don’t agree to.

No one can force you to settle for less than you deserve. You alone can make your dreams come true your dreams of love, your dreams of joy, your dreams of having control in your life, instead of hoping the man in front of you will give you that life you dream of. You need to be STRONG not WEAK.

You need to count on YOU, not on HIM. Everything men do to feel powerful, you can do, and you can do it better! And you can look hot-as-hell doing it! Ladies here are just a few of the things you can do when you embrace your bad-ass-Siren-self!

You can LOOK GORGEOUS You can SPEAK YOUR MIND You can BE FUNNY You can GET ATTENTION You can BE SMART You can STOP HIDING & SHINE BRIGHT You can BE LOUD You can SHOW OFF You can SAY “NO!” You can PUT YOURSEL FIRST! You can GET RESPECT! You can BE FAMOUS You can BE FAST You can RUN A MILE You can BE STRONG You can LIFT WEIGHTS You can PROTECT YOURSELF You can HAVE BOUNDARIES You can LEARN MARTIAL ARTS You can BE FIERCE! You can BOX A PUNCHING BAG You can DANCE You can RUN A BUSINESS You can START A BUSINESS You can FLY A PLANE You can JUMP OUT OF A PLANE! You can DRIVE A SPORTS CAR!

You can RIDE A MOTORCYCLE! You can SWING A HAMMER You can FIX THINGS around the house! You can BUILD A HOUSE!!! You can VOLUNTEER You can GET ELECTED You can BE PRESIDENT THERE ARE NO LIMITS BUT THE LIMITS WE PUT ON OURSELVES. ❤ Start with something tiny that you’re scared or nervous to do. Take that small step forward, and try it When you conquer your FEAR, even just A LITTLE BIT, you will feel more EMPOWERED than you did before.

Do this EVERYDAY. Everyday do something that scares you. Before you know it, your life will be AMAZING, and you’ll have the satisfaction of knowing YOU made it happen. Now I want to hear from you what are you afraid of? Leave a comment below or send me a note at TheSirenRules@gmail.com.

~Selina Posted in Tagged,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, . Circa 1936: Wallis Simpson, the Duchess of Windsor (1896 – 1986), wearing her Cartier emerald engagement ring and a sapphire and diamond bracelet. (Photo by Hulton Archive/Getty Images) Sometimes in popular culture we will be convinced that someone is a natural-born-Siren or has a perfect life just because she is a very attractive or famous woman. Matlab 2009 64 Bit Free Download. But being famous, successful or attractive does not mean that a woman has any Siren skills or operates from the Siren principles SADLY many stunning, incredible women find themselves humiliated on the other side of cheating, abusive or emotionally distant men (insert favorite recent gossip headline here!) Or they have difficulty finding anyone to date at all. You might find that depressing, until you remember that Sirens never have such a problem for long, even if they are utterly plain-looking and no where near as rich, famous or high status as their male conquests The truth is natural beauty means nothing without confidence. In fact, it may destroy you as your obvious beauty makes you a clear target to the most predatory men, players and narcissists out there, who treat you like an object or a trophy instead of a human being, and who think that pushing you into sex or dominating a beatiful woman is some sort of sign of masculinity, bolstering up their weak ego while impressing other, equally shallow men. Without confidence, the beautiful woman is like a lamb lost in a field of lions.

But confidence, even without beauty, will take you as far as you want to go. From Mae West to Wallis Simpson to Oprah, examples of “plain” women who seem to have it all, and created exactly the kind of life they wanted for themselves, are an inspiring reminder of this truth. Beauty is lovely, but as is often said, it doesn’t last forever and beauty is not the same as real sex appeal or desirability. If his interest only lasts until the moment he’s had the model-chick in bed, does it really count? The spell of a true Siren is unbreakable.

He could be scared, he could be not ready, he could run away, and he could even leave – but all the while the Siren will be the only one he thinks about, and all future women will be compared to her. That is the power of her self-worth. That is the power of her confidence. A Siren absolutely radiates desirability, regardless of how she looks, or how old she is (Helen Mirren anyone?) and that magic doesn’t fade with time.

Posted in Tagged,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, . Too often when I teach these revolutionary Siren-principles to clients, the light bulb goes on and they feel sick with all they’ve done “wrong” in the past. They are overwhelmed with guilt, shame, low-self-esteem and beating themselves up over making all those “stupid mistakes.” Unfortunately, beating yourself up is not at all helpful. It’s a psychologically proven fact that when you engage in negative self-talk in an attempt to change bad behavior, your odds of actually changing that behavior go down, as opposed to being neutral, or positive. Change takes strength, and willpower and that takes a healthy level of self-esteem.

Chipping away at your self esteem by agonizing over what you’ve done “wrong” or “mistakes” you’ve made or continue to make, is only going to make it more difficult to implement the Siren principles and lessons learned. So I would suggest the following to anyone struggling with this issue Eliminate the words “wrong” and “mistake” from your vocabulary when it comes to your interactions with men. Instead of saying “oh I was so wrong to do that” or “that text message was a mistake, I know it” just say that something is “not helpful” or “not effective”. It didn’t create the desired result. And you can choose not to do it again. You’re never “wrong” for doing the best you can with what you know and how you feel.

And if you think of something as “a mistake” – see it for what it really is. An opportunity for learning. A personal challenge. A turning point in your self-development. Mastering anything absolutely requires countless so called “mistakes”. “Mistakes” are not optional they are not only made by the ‘poor students’, they are made by everyone. It’s a fundamental part of learning.

The only way to get feedback on what you’re doing and self-correct is through trying things, not all of which will work. There is literally no other way to learn any complex skill (whether it’s walking, playing the piano, or dating men) without making many, many, many, many “mistakes.” Learning from my mistakes is how I personally went from chasing after every abusive, unavailable man I could find (!) and spending most nights crying alone on the floor, to having millionaires courting me and competing with one another for my attention. Along the way, the Siren skills I’ve learned have also helped me go from minimum wage jobs to starting several successful businesses, from being desperately alone to creating an amazing network of powerful and generous friends, from feeling like my talents could never be realized, to following my creative dreams and living a full and beautiful life – including the joy of helping and being of service to other women who are in the place I used to be with men. When I reflect on my journey, I see that I am still fundamentally the same person as I was years ago but I have the benefit of a few thousand more “mistakes” under my belt than when I started. There are no natural-born Sirens just like there are no babies knowing how to walk straight from the womb and no concert pianists that didn’t have to practice. Babies fall down learning how to be upright, piano players hit countless sour notes as they master music, and Sirens only become Sirens through experience.

The next time you feel the temptation to beat yourself up for doing something “wrong” or making “a mistake” with a man, simply say to yourself- “Well, I think I could have handled that better. I can see now that saying/doing/texting (whatever) was not very helpful next time I will (change you want to make) instead.” After the realization of your “mistake” simply take a moment to write out the following on a card or large post-it note as a reminder to yourself.

1) – I realize that (action) was not helpful 2) – Next time I resolve to (new action with specific examples) 3) – I used to (do action), but now I am a (new desired identity + actions)! For Example: 1) “I realize now that texting Brad twenty times with no reply was not helpful” 2) “Next time I resolve to do something empowering for myself when I feel needy about a guy instead of going overboard. Maybe I’ll just set up another date, write a song, or work on my thesis paper instead” 3) “I used to act desperate with men, but now I am a strong woman. I know how to take care of my own needs and channel my feelings in a positive way.” Then place it at home somewhere you will see it frequently, read it out loud when you need to reaffirm your conviction, and continue to follow your resolution until it’s become a firmly established habit.

You can do this for as many things as you want to change but remember to work on only one at a time, so pick the most important issue and place the rest of the cards in your personal binder or journal. When you feel that you’ve got it, remove the card, and replace it with the next one. You’ll be amazed at the difference treating yourself with kindness, and focusing on implementing behavior that “works” as opposed to “doesn’t work” makes in your life.

~Selina Posted in Tagged,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, .